If you need a laugh ...

... please enjoy one at the expense of the Even family.

@ 3:30 this fine morning ...
Reagan: "MOOOOOOOMMMMY!!"
Me: Oh geez, this is not a drill.
{Commence the throwing up}
Me: "CHRIS! A TRASH CAN NOOOOOW!" (if you know Chris, you know it was a miracle he woke up and heard me)
Chris then flips on the light to the kids' room which provides Parker with a very rude awakening and makes the total sum of people asleep in the Even household: 1 (if Moses counts).

3:35am - 6:30am ...
- Bathing Reagan
- Rinsing and then laundering 10 loads of blankets, comforters, sheets, mattress pads, extra-layer-of-protection mattress pads, pajamas, lovies; scrubbing carpet.
- Washing hands until they cracked
- Cleaning off the spare bed (which was covered in Christmas presents that still need wrapping) so that the kids could sleep in that bed while I was fixing their room all night/day
- Calming kids down
- Answering questions like, "Mommy, what is on my bed? What did Reagy do? What's that called on my bed? Can we go downstairs? Is it dark out?"
- Putting kids in spare bed to sleep, but had to lay down with them, because while we have a camera for our monitor in that room, I cannot find the handheld portion of the monitor because Reagan was playing with it a week and a half ago....
- At 6:15, I finally moved back into our bed.
- At 6:18, Chris' alarm went off.  SON. OF. A. NUTCRACKER. 

I don't remember 6:20-7:30 so I guess I fell asleep...

7:30am ...
I heard my kids in the spare room laughing it up and having a ball.  I go in to check on them, and they are surrounded by Lindt Chocolates - some still in wrappers, some still in the bag, a lot of wrappers in the trash can (at least they threw them away), and a lot of chocolate in their mouths.

Good, because I think most medical professionals recommend chocolate 4 HOURS AFTER THROWING UP.

Why were the chocolates accessible?  They were supposed to be a gift for one of their teachers, and while cleaning all of the gifts off of the bed at 4:00am I didn't think to move them to a higher shelf, because I didn't think it would be a problem.  Rookie.

We made it through the morning with a lot of coffee and a lot of Polar Express-ing:

and then they went down for their nap in the spare bed again (because I am still doing laundry) around noon, finally falling asleep around 1:00pm.  I took the chance to lay in my bed for a little, hoping they would sleep for a few hours.  NOPE.  Up at 2:00, and when I went to get them from the spare room, they had broken into one of my craft boxes and had craft glue EVERYWHERE.  Hands, feet, the dry-clean only comforter, the carpeting, their hair, etc.  Reagan still has glue stuck to the top of her foot because she wont let me peel it off.  "It hurts, mommy."  It hurts me, too, honey.

We made it through the afternoon with more caffeinated beverages and more Polar Express with a little Thomas thrown in there.  I am now making Reagan rice for dinner, will happily bathe their sweet little selves and throw them into their clean beds ... OH WAIT.  Their room still looks like this:

Everyone, for the sake of my sanity, PLEASE pray that Parker, Chris and I stay healthy.  Please.
PS - ask me if I have even brushed my teeth today ... and then ask me if I care.